• FEATURED FLIGHT FRIGHT
    A different kind of animal
    Summary
    Read on to know how Frontier airlines is very much different from the rest of them! A different kind of animal!
    Full Fright
    Good afternoon folks, on behalf of Frontier Zoo-Lines and our entire staff, I would like to welcome you aboard our Airbus A-319 jungle tour service to Denver from Dayton Ohio. This aircraft is sponsored by Sheldon the Sea Turtle, who can be seen on the tail and each of the wingtips outside your window. Don't ask me why a craft that is supposed to fly, is being watched over by a creature that can barely swim. Anyway, Today's crew of trained circus bears will be attempting to serve you and address any of your inflight needs. If you should have any imminent problems that can't wait for your impatient ass to get to Denver, just press the attendant-ignore button above your seat. I would like you to direct your attention forward as Yogi and Booboo attempt to provide our safety demonstration. In the likely event our band of Bonobo Monkey mechanics forgot to tighten the lug nuts, and we have to ditch into the Colorado river, the fat whale occupying the seat next to you, and half of yours, may be used as a flotation device. I must remind you that federal regulations prohibit the smoking of any "tobacco" products on this flight. If you managed to get any non-tobacco substances past Ranger Rick and his posse of TSA raccoons, please pass them to the front row, as I can use it to help with my glaucoma. ------- Once again the captain has illuminated the "strap your dumb ass in" sign. Since our eagle eyed navigator couldn't see the colossal thunderstorm we are all about to loose our lunch in, we ask that those of you that have seats that actually recline, return them upright. We also request that you remain leashed while we proceed to scald your lap with boiling coffee. Please also be aware that we won't announce again when our rhinos are running the beverage cart backward up the aisle, and take no responsibility for your bruised elbows and amputated toes. If you were stupid enough to purchase our upgraded ticket package, we will get you your complimentary beverage and feed bag just in time to start preparing for decent. If you choose to let our ferrets have your credit card numbers, you can purchase the inflight entertainment package. Be advised that you will not discover that your seat screen doesn't work until after swiping, and only every third seat has an operable audio jack. Free headphones will be available to share. Please be sure to keep your brat children from kicking the seat in front of them, or they will be fed to alligators or ground up and recycled into snacks for the next flight. Thank you and enjoy the roller coaster ride. ------- Ladies and Gentlemen, for your continued safety and discomfort, please remain seated while the Captain Kangaroo bounces what's left of the plane back to gate A7. For those passengers continuing on to San Diego, your connecting flight will be boarding in three minutes at Gate Z31. Any luggage that our ground crew gorillas haven't smashed into the size of a Sucrets box for you, should already be on its way to New Zealand. Once again, thanks for flying Frontier Airlines, a different kind of animal.
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Frontier Failures
NOTABLE FRIGHTS
 SO YOU(FRONTIER AIRLINES) GET AROUND BAGGAGE PROBLEMS BY MAKING NO ONE AVAILABLE TO TALK TO AT BAGGAGE CLAIM. 

Wally

 But Frontier has LIED, telling AMEX we flew all four segments which is an absolute lie! 

Sage

 Unacceptable...I will stick with Southwest Airlines from now on, and tell anyone else to do the same. the few bucks saved wasn't worth the inconvenience. 

Julius Caesar C

 Depending on which rules they choose to enforce, you can never be assured that you will be granted access to their boarding process. 

Yvonne

 Never again. Rude stewardesses, ignorant pilots, and nothing's free. The price isn't cheap enough for this. 

Lorelie